Essay 98 (11-26-05)

WHY DOESN'T GOD ANSWER MY PRAYERS?

If I recall the story correctly, when Catherine Marshall's grandchild was critically ill, she not only prayed fervently herself, but urged all those within her ministry to join her. She summoned those she deemed gifted in prayer, some being well-known names, in evangelical circles, to meet with her in prayer for the grandchild. Prayer vigils were conducted across the country. This went on for sometime. She was understandably devastated when the child died.

There is a similar story in the Pat Boone family. Pat's grandson was brain injured in a fall while at work. Pat went on Larry King Live to ask that all who would to join the family in prayer. Sometime later he appeared again on Larry King, joined by pastors and family, to give a report and to solicit further prayer. If the grandson was some better, he was still mentally challenged. Millions must have joined Pat in his crucible of prayer for a loved one. The last I heard the grandson had not recovered as Pat had hoped.

These are stories of super Christians -- highly dedicated, deeply spiritual, and of uncommon faith. Both Catherine and Pat put their faith on the line by not only laying their cause before a merciful God, but before millions of "prayer warriors" around the world. Anyone exposed to their heart-rending appeals, as I was, might react with, "Surely God will answer their prayers," or even "If I were God, I would answer their prayers."

These experiences are not uncommon among believers. It is not unusual for churches to pray "around the clock" -- or to conduct an all-night vigil during some crisis, often when someone's life hangs in the balance. We have a prayer room at our congregation where prayers go on all day, with different ones taking turn in praying for the same people, over and over, perhaps for weeks. Ouida and I are amazed that there is so much cancer, and those who fear they might hear the dreaded "C-word" once the tests are done ("Please pray that I don't have cancer"). There are all kinds of health problems, family problems, worry over children, unemployment, underemployment, housing needs.

We pray for healing, for restitution of relationships, that families will find decent housing, that an errant husband and father will return to his family, that a single Mom might find a job even when she has few skills. The results? While we can't always know, I suspect our results are not unlike those already referenced. We know that God does sometimes answer prayers -- the way we want him to, that is -- but usually our prayers go unanswered. I suppose those in our prayer ministry could well complain, "Why doesn't God answer our prayers?"

We find it in the Bible, even with Jesus and Paul. In Gethsemane our Lord prayed while in great agony, "Let this cup pass from me." He went on to drink the cup. The apostle prayed, over and over, that his "thorn in the flesh" might be removed. It wasn't. He was rather given the grace to bear it.

While I feel for those who issue this complaint, "Why doesn't God answer my prayer?" it may reflect a misunderstanding of the purpose of prayer. We are going to pray our heart's desire. That is natural and it is the way it should be. And God may well answer that prayer, but he may not. We've learned from experience that he usually does not -- not in the way we have asked, at least. We can believe that God always hears our prayers, and he always answers them --- but not necessarily in the way we have asked.

The answer may be no, for reasons better left to his will and wisdom. Or it may be, yes, but not yet -- such as when we pray for his kingdom to come to earth as it has come in heaven, or when we pray, "Maranatha, Come, Lord Jesus." Yes, but not yet.

We are not to see prayer as an escape from difficulties or even tragedies, but as a source of strength -- for wisdom, courage, and faith for the living of these troubled days. Jesus told us plainly that "In the world you will have hardship" (John 16:33). We should not expect prayer to change that. We are to pray that we will have a victorious faith amidst the difficulties, and that it might all be to the glory of God, but not that we might escape the difficulties.

My recent loss of vision -- macular degeneration they call it -- serves as an example. I have probably lost upwards of half my vision. The condition is irreversible. The vision that is lost cannot be recovered. I have had laser surgery in order to save the vision that remains How is one to pray about something like this? I have friends who are praying for me -- probably that my vision will be restored. We know that Jesus restored sight to the blind, and we know he can still do that today. But that is not my prayer.

I turn 87 next month. I thank God that I can still get around fairly well, still travel and speak, and even drive in daylight. I can still use the computer and still read. even if it is more difficult. I am so blessed! To me that is largely what prayer is about -- thanking God for our blessings -- naming them one by one -- and praising him for his tender mercies toward us. It is amiss for us to expect to escape the hardships of life or the frailties of old age. We can pray that we will bear our troubles with grace and equanimity, and that we will not be a grumpy old codger. When we do pray for things, it should be for others more than for ourselves.

The answer to our question may be, therefore, that God does hear and respond to the prayers of his children -- always -- but not necessarily in the way we have asked. He is our heavenly parent, and only he knows what is best. As earthly parents, we hear the petitions of our own children, but we may not give them what they ask. If a toddler could pray, he might ask that he would not fall and skin his knees. But we allow him to fall and get hurt -- for his own good. But we set limits. We allow our children to make mistakes and get hurt, but we try to save them from self-destruction.

If this world is "a vale of soul-making," as a poet has put it. then we are to understand that we are being prepared for the main event. God uses the hardships we undergo in this world to fashion us into what he wants us to be. To be pure gold one must go through the fires of adversity. Is it appropriate for us to pray to escape the disciplines that prepare us for eternity?

These lines from Habakkuk 3:17-18 may not exactly be a prayer, but they speak to what I am saying -- that a life of faith will have its difficulties, sometimes severe difficulties, and that the answer is not to escape them, but to bear them with joyous fortitude.