THE ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM

You would think it odd if while a guest in the home of friends there was an elephant in the living room. And you would conclude that your friends have a serious problem when you could get no answer to your query, "Why the elephant in the living room?" Only a finger to the lips – We don’t talk about the elephant.

Recently I heard a leader in the United Presbyterian Church use that metaphor. He was referring to his denomination’s dispute over whether practicing homosexuals should be ordained as clergy. He indicated that the dispute is so deep and emotions so intense that the issue may divide the denomination. The leaders try not to discuss it all that much, hoping it will go away. Then he said, "It is the elephant in the living room."

  The elephant is sometimes found in our family life – which we sometimes refer as a skeleton in the closet. It may be a recluse uncle who lives with eighteen cats and thinks he is Napoleon. It may be a wayward child who is an embarrassment to the family – maybe in prison or a mental hospital. Especially tragic is when parents reject a homosexual son or daughter. There is no longer any communication, and they no longer even speak of him or her. At family gatherings – especially at Christmas – such ones are on everyone’s mind, but nothing is said. They have to work around the elephant in the living room.

  Orthodox Jews and some Christian sects deem even a family member as "dead" if they become unorthodox. They are no longer to be mentioned – not even to be prayed for – in the family circle. Such families manage to navigate around the elephant in the house. There was such a character in Alexander Campbell’s family – a doctor brother suspected of necrophilia (an erotic attraction to corpses and grave robbing). The family buried him in a secluded, unmarked grave, lest someone take revenge. His name is sometimes missing in family listings. Elephants were created to be burden bearers, but they are cruel burdens themselves when they are in the house with us.

  The Presbyterians are not the only ones with an elephant in the room. We now know that Roman Catholic bishops – in numerous countries – were aware for decades that they had a problem with pedophile priests who were abusing children. Large numbers of them! They dealt with it by transferring them from one diocese to another, unashamedly allowing the abuse to continue. They ignored the elephant until it went on a rampage and threatened to destroy the institution. It turned out to be an expensive elephant, costing multiplied millions in litigation, as well as loss of trust in an ancient church.

  And all our churches – Protestant and Catholic alike – have an elephant around that we choose to ignore – that our churches are filled with virtual pagans, members who are Christians in name only, and who have no intention of being disciples of Jesus. They may "believe" in Jesus, but he makes no real difference in their lives. Decades ago Elton Trueblood warned about this elephant in the room – pointing out that the church itself is the world’s greatest mission field, even more than Asia or Africa.

  Both schools and churches have a way of ignoring crucial problems of youth in their midst, particularly their use of drugs, including alcohol. They may know they have a problem, but they will not admit it until the police come calling. Many church leaders keep on saying,"Our kids on drugs? No way!" until the wakeup call comes in the form of a suicide or a fatal automobile accident. We have a way of doing business as usual while we work around the elephant in the room.

  My long, controversial ministry in Churches of Christ could be described as a painful effort to get my dear sisters and brothers to talk about the elephant in the room. They have known all along that the elephant was there, but they would not admit it. And they would give me a hard time for asking about the elephant. When I would ask about it, the response was,"What elephant? There is no elephant. Get lost!"

  The good news is that in recent years we have begun to admit that there is an elephant in the house. We are now talking about it with some degree of honesty and candor. We have even begun – ever so slowly – to get the elephant out of the house. That is what has to happen to get the elephant out – to admit that it is there!

  One elephant I pointed to was the mindset that we don’t interpret the Bible – we just take it for what it says! We are not influenced by cultural or sociological factors, and we have no creed like the denominations have. When I asked about the elephant of our unwritten creed – usually more oppressive than written ones – they usually chose not to see it. Even when they knew it was there!

  There is the elephant of "We are the only true church" or "We are the only true Christians" or "We are not a denomination" or "We are the only ones who follow the New Testament." When I pointed out that we can believe we are right without having to believe that everyone else is wrong, and we can be "Christians only" without believing that we are the only Christians, the response was often, "I never believed that anyway; you’re saying what I’ve always believed." They knew the elephant was there, but they wouldn’t talk about it – not until some of us "heretics" starting asking about the elephant in the house!

  Another elephant that has really thrown its weight around is that we have no traditions – the sects and denominations do, of course, but we don’t, for we are simply the New Testament church. No traditions except apostolic tradition! We have even been historyless. All the centuries since the apostles do not matter. Even Stone-Campbell do not matter all that much, for we are the restored first-century church! Name this one Bertha.

  I pointed out that, of course, we have traditions -- the way we interpret the Bible, the way we do church, the way we serve the Lord’s Supper, acappella singing, church architecture, the way we pray ("guide, guard, and direct"), the illustrations we use, gospel meetings (not revivals, God forbid!), church papers, editor bishops, no Easter or Christmas celebration, "minister" rather than "pastor," and on and on. Like all churches, we have traditions that set us apart from other denominations.

  And it is OK to have traditions, I would allow – small ‘t" traditions – so long as they are not elevated to the capital "T" tradition which unites all believers in Christ. The capital "T" tradition is the core gospel – one Lord, one faith, one baptism. Capital "T" is centered in the Cross. All small "t" traditions are marginal – theories, theology, methods – matters of opinion, and here we are to allow liberty. We unite upon the capital "T" tradition – Jesus Christ and him crucified. We allow for differences in small "t" traditions.

  There are many small "t" traditions, and they all have something to offer to the church universal – the Orthodox (the oldest), the Roman Catholic, the Anglican (Methodists an offspring), the Lutheran, the Reformed (Calvinistic, Presbyterian), the Pentecostal, the Believer’s Church (starting with Anabaptists, then Baptists). And there is Stone-Campbell (Disciples of Christ, Christian Churches, Churches of Christ), emanating from the Reformed tradition. All these have been inclined to make their small "t" traditions into capital "T," thus creating sectarianism.

  As the church at large becomes more Christ-centered the small "t" traditions will not only become marginal (where they should be), but they will gradually diminish. The rule should be: the fewer distinctive marks (particulars –"t") a church has the more catholic (universals –"T") it will become. Though we will become more like each other – as we become more catholic -- there may always be certain preferred traditions. Again, that is OK, so long as those "t" traditions are not made into "T."

  An example of this is the non-instrumental Churches of Christ. We will probably always sing acappella – at least congregationally (for we do it fairly well) – though we will eventually have instruments for special music, some services, weddings, etc., as some congregations do already. Again, it is OK to be non-instrumental, so long as we understand it is "t" and not "T." But that has been the elephant in the room – we have made acappella music a "T" or catholic. All through the years many of our leaders knew this – some would admit as much to me – and to this day most of our preachers (and members) see nothing wrong with instrumental music. But they don’t talk about the elephant in the room.

  We will have our elephants – in our homes, churches, schools, government. It goes with being human, which is to err. The devil is in the elephant when we are willfully blind and in denial – "Elephant? What elephant?" Liberation comes only when we acknowledge that the elephant is in the room. Honesty, soul-searching, repentance, and mid-course corrections will turn the elephant out to pasture, which is where all good elephants belong.