My brother Bill is six years my junior, but that still makes him 82, not exactly young anymore, which is the way I've always perceived him. We were the youngest in a family of seven boys and one girl, and we are now the only ones left. In recent years -- with our six siblings all gone -- we have talked on the phone about our memories of them, referencing each by name and recalling things they said and did.

Since Bill was 20, 22 and 24 years younger than our three oldest brothers, they were something of father figures to him, an older generation, and his memories take that direction. But in some ways he has excelled all his brothers, at least when it came to making money -- and in our family that is how we kept score. He is a certified real estate appraiser, an MAI, and he has done quite well for himself, and is still at it at 82. He has lived in Dallas most all his life -- in Highland Park where homes sell for a million dollars, only to be razed to make room for something even more elegant.

Now and again in family gatherings, and particularly when we started dying. -- the first to go was a brother who died of smoking at only 67, the last to go, also a brother, died at 91 -- there was talk of who would be the last to go. We would all say it would of course be Bill, for he was the youngest, decidedly the youngest. Bill's urgent call tonight was to tell me that I would probably have the dubious honor of being the only one left -- something that I would have to live with! I told him no, it would not be that way, for I wanted to go to heaven first so as to be among those that would one day welcome him to his heavenly home -- assuming that heaven was in his plans!

Humor aside, Bill had had a hard night, in the hospital no less, and he thought he might die. Continual urinal bleeding -- an infected bladder, complicated by atrial fibrillation, which is Ouida's problem. They both have to take a blood-thinner to prevent blood clots. This was especially a problem to Bill - a "Catch 22" -- as he put it -- for to stop the bleeding they had to cut down on the blood-thinner. They gave him the most potent antibiotics.

His overly-candid doctor did not help all that much, telling him that he would occasionally have such infections, and that one day he'll have one that no antibiotic would combat. "That is when you will die."

My brother seemed to think he had not handled the crisis as a believer might. He was scared, didn't know how or what to pray, and had trouble recalling Scriptures that might have reassured him. He had a hard time of it. I think he wanted my take on it all.

I assured him that it is not a reflection on one's faith to sometimes be afraid. We are human, and fear is basic to our nature, especially of the unknown, and what is more unknown than death? Too, we fear losing control, such as being behind the wheel of an out-of-control automobile, or when suffering a a heart attack. The Bible tells us to "Fear not" because the Lord knows we will sometimes be afraid. That admonition is saying something like "Take heart amidst the fearful storms of life." To tell someone not to be afraid when a bull is after him -- or when the doctor uses that dreadful "C" word -- is like telling him not to breath.

As for praying amidst a death scare, it is understandable that one might do so, for we pray our heart's desire. But prayer is not to be made an escape hatch from a sea of troubles. It is rather for strength and courage to bear them. Nor is Scripture to be used as if it were a talisman. It rather informs and nurtures. Like a sturdy ship at sea that "stays ready" for any eventuality, the believer is always prepared -- through prayer and meditation in the Word -- for the critical turns of life. At death's door he may only say or think This is what I've been waiting for, for he knows what awaits him, something far better.

Death is a beatitude, part of God's plan for us, and is but a transition from life to life. It is the beginning of life, not the end of life, and when we leave this world we do not leave home but go home. We move from "things seen" to "things unseen," and that is why on planet earth, while we live in time, we live in view of eternity.

Bill wanted to know if we would recognize each other in heaven. My answer to that is that it is highly unlikely that a beneficent God who makes us sisters and brothers here would make us strangers there. Not only will we know each other, but we will "know even as we are known" and will readily recognize the multitudes of saints from ages past. In the Transfiguration -- a heavenly scene on earth -- Peter, James, John, Moses, and Elijah did not have to be introduced to each other.

Well, Bill has survived his crisis, and is perhaps a stronger believer for it. Experiences that lead us to ask the weightier questions serve us well. If he now supposes that I will survive him, how could it possibly matter? What matters is that our time is in the hands of a sovereign God, one full of mercy and eager to forgive.

Notes

I am profoundly impressed and deeply grateful to Bob Lewis and Glen Thompson that all 33 volumes of Restoration Review, which I edited, are now on my website, which is www.leroygarrett.org, along with all these essays and more. Bob and Glen, who started this back in 1999, have served us well, and hopefully their labor of love will bless many for years to come.

Names will be added upon request, and only upon request, for these occasional essays.

Ouida saw her cardiologist this week and he was upbeat about her progress, reporting that her heart is stronger than it was before. Prognosis? He is optimistic, provided we can get her appetite back on track and put some pounds on her. When I run my hands down her body I kid her about disappearing. She weighs 101 pounds, down from her usual weight of 128.

Next Lord's day, September 9, I will address the First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) here in Denton, on Fulton street near Denton High School, at 10:50. I will recall the story of the prodigal son, in reference to what it is telling us. Are we to see ourselves in the wayward son, in the unforgiving elder brother, or in the gracious father -- or perhaps in all three?