This is not one of our usual essays, but a letter, a sad one unfortunately. Since many of the readers of these essays are close friends, this is a letter to them. We have longtime readers who have become dear friends, though we have never met. We say of them what Peter said of Christ, "whom we love, having never seen." As friends we share joys and sorrows alike. The others of you, inquiring readers but not yet personal friends, will be forbearing.

  Ouida and I have suffered another family tragedy, and we thought you would want to know. Our 19-month old great granddaughter, a beautiful and delightful child, died last Sunday. She choked at the breakfast table. She was Carelifted to Cook’s Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth where they spent hours trying to save her. They removed food from her lungs. They feared that if she lived she might be severely brain-damaged. That of course would have been a greater tragedy. Perhaps the Lord answered my ongoing prayer after all – "Lord, have mercy on little Trinity."

  This is our fourth time around for this sort of thing. First, our son-in-law drowned, leaving our daughter with two young children. Then we had a son to die of AIDS at age 29, an incredibly sad story that I told in my autobiography. Then our four-year old granddaughter drowned on the family farm. I was called home from Central America. And now, well into our 80s we are called on to bury still another. We have tried not to ask Why? but for the strength and courage to move on, and to be there for the others in the family who are hurting. Ouida is the strong one and I am the sissy. I can’t take it like she can.

  My heart aches especially for Ashley, our grandson and father of Trinity. All his life he’s been haunted by cruel tragedy. When he was just a boy out boating with his Dad he witnessed his drowning. He himself might have drowned except for holding to a low-lying branch. A nearby fisherman heard his cries and saved him. And he was there, still but a boy, when his baby sister drowned. He had very difficult growing up years. He was dysfunctional in school, and finally dropped out. We were fearful that he would never get his life on track.

  But he did. Ouida says it was the girl he married. He worked in the day and went to school at night. He took his G.E.D., and went on to study mechanics and air-conditioning. He was an auto mechanic for a time, then he did air-conditioning, and was so promising that his company sent him to study specialized air-conditioning. He now watches over air-conditioning systems in hospitals and high-rises, making good money. He is also a volunteer fireman in his community. And he is a good father. He has done so well I can brag on him without overdoing it. He has a six-year old son also. Both children adored him. One memory of Trinity is of her in her highchair, turning her head this way and that way to see where her Daddy was!

  When Ashley and his wife came by after the heartbreaking vigil at the hospital, we embraced, a long embrace. We didn’t say anything. He didn’t ask me why life has to be so cruel. I would have had no answer. But we at last had our little talk. I told him it was OK for men to cry, even those who fight fires and make repairs on tall buildings. And that tragedies can be hard on marriages, that he and his wife must especially be there for each other at such a time as this – and not to blame each other or themselves for what happened. No guilt trips! Nor are we to blame God. It was an accident. God is as grieved as we are. We know that he loves us and is with us, and that he never causes his children a needless tear. It will be clearer to us in God’s tomorrow.

  Ashley knew that Ouida and I had begun a college fund for Trinity. I told him he might need the money for the funeral. He said he wished it could have been spent on her schooling. And I pondered the painful ironies that life imposes – We save money for their education and spend it on their funerals!

  While this tragedy was unfolding, Ouida and I were with the Pecan Grove Church of Christ in Greenville, Texas where we have been going, several times a year, since 1990. Since they have a love feast after the service, we make quite a day of it. My text was Romans 8:31: "What shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

  I referred to some of "these things" that Paul must have had in mind when he made that statement, such as "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are in no wise to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed (v. 18). And the assurance that "all things work together for good for those who love the Lord" (v. 28). And that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weaknesses, and when we do not know how to pray as we ought, the Holy Spirit makes intercession for us" (v. 26).

  I went on to show the apostle’s description of the faith that makes us "more than conquerors": "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

  "I am persuaded," he goes on to insist, "that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

  God is for us! Nothing – however devastating it may be -- can separate us from God’s love. This is the faith we are to teach our children, our grandchildren, our great grandchildren. 

Notes

In spite of our grief, we plan, the Lord willing, to fulfill our weekend appointments. I recall William Barclay saying that he dealt with grief by going back to work and staying busy. We respect that advise. We will be with the Quail Springs Church of Christ, 14401 N. May, Oklahoma City (405-755-4790) for two sessions on Saturday, Oct. 7, and I will address the combined classes on Sunday a.m. I will then be whisked away a few miles to the Dayspring Church of Christ, 100 N. Chowning in Norman (405-340-5248) where I will address the regular assembly.

After Oklahoma City we will fly with friends, Tom and Lucy Fullerton of Irving (Dallas), to New Mexico for a vacation. We will see the Balloon Festival in Albuquerque, then on to Gallup to visit with Ouida’s sister, and finally to Sante Fe.

All these essays are available at www.leroygarrett.org