Essay 14 (12-27-03)

FINAL CONCLUSIONS

At a party over the holidays a dear old soul asked me how old I was. When I told her I had just turned 85 she said, "You are just a kid." She was 101 and still going strong! Nonetheless, at 85 I lay claim to the right to draw some final conclusions about what life is about. Not that this is my last will and testament about my philosophy of life. If it were I might have to add a codicil now and then, for I suppose we are never ready to give our very last word about anything. But there is some fixity about a few conclusions I want to pass along to those who are younger.

Life is about how we treat people.

When life is at last over what will really matter is how we have treated our fellow human beings. Especially how we treated those who were not likely ever to do anything for us in return. How we treated the rejects and marginalized of society. Those we didn’t like, those different from us, those of other races and religions, those with whom we differed, including heretics. And especially how we treated those who treated us badly.

I’m not referring only to ill-mannered conduct toward others, but to indifference and neglect – sometimes benign neglect. We see a homeless man curled up in a doorway, and we say to ourselves, He is not my dad. We see a family living in indecent housing, and we say, They are not my kin. We are even prone to judge those who appear doomed to poverty, If they had applied themselves like I did . . We may feel helpless in the face of so much injustice and intolerance around the world, but we can at least feel compassion – and look for something that we can do.

The ancients named sloth as one of the seven deadly sins, which referred to the "I don’t care" attitude – about dress, cleanliness, habits, even people. We can be so self-centered as to give little or no thought for others. This sometimes reaches into our own families, such as not showing common courtesy to those closest to us. A simple "Thank you" and an expression of appreciation may go far in defining who we are.

Our Lord placed right relationship above doing church things: "If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Mt. 5:23-24). When his disciples were arguing among themselves as to who was top cat, he said to them, "If anyone desires to be first, let him be last of all and servant of all" (Mk. 9:35). Jesus practiced what he preached, for even despised lepers felt free to approach him. A servant even to lepers!

That is what life should be about – being first by being last, being great by being a servant. The problem is when we are so full of self that we see ourselves as an island apart – above and separate from others. John Donne said it well, "No man is an island, entire of itself . . . Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

2. Life is seeking out for ourselves those values that we’ve learned to treasure, and sharing them with others, all abundantly.

Yes, abundantly. Our Lord came from heaven to earth – from riches to poverty – that we might be rich (2 Cor. 8:9). He intends that we have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). And we are to share that abundance. We are to think in terms of "the good life" for ourselves and for others. This consists of values – all those things that enrich and fulfill our lives.

We might refer to values as "higher" and "lower," but they are all important – health and wealth, family, friends, decent clothing and housing, meaningful employment, freedom, education, music, medical and dental care, opportunities to serve. Technology has made this a wonder world for some of us – radio, TV, cyberspace, instant communication, rapid and comfortable transportation. These we have in abundance – TV in several rooms, two or more automobiles, spacious homes, expendable income, leisure travel.

Has our abundance spoiled us? Not when we view our values as both to be enjoyed and to be shared – and the sharing is part of the joy! A great truth for the living of these days: "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35). Life can be abundant and still simple – simple values enjoyed and shared.

We think of spiritual values as "higher" because they touch heaven as well as earth – faith, hope, love, prayer, study, meditation, the community of believers both in heaven and on earth, discipleship. And most of all "Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift" – Jesus Christ our Lord – (2 Cor. 9:15).

There is an ethical dimension to all these values in that they are to be shared – and the ethical dimension implies virtues. Values and virtues are to go together. When values lack virtue they may be labeled "shoddy values." Money and possessions are treasured values. The attending virtue is generosity. Wealth without generosity breeds greed – avarice being another of the seven deadly sins.

Family – particularly the husband and wife relationship – is a highly esteemed value. The attending virtue is faithfulness. Conjugality without fidelity is a tragedy. Sex is clearly a value to be enjoyed, but without love – its attending virtue – it becomes lust, another of the seven deadly sins. Friendship is among the greatest values, but it is shipwrecked without loyalty, its attending virtue. Military service – and every "call to duty" -- is an honored value, but without courage it is deemed dishonorable. We are richly blessed by "life, breath, and all things," as Paul once put it, but without gratitude something vital is missing.

You get the point. What makes life worth living is values, but the values must be monitored by virtues. The classical virtues – honesty, loyalty, justice, generosity, courage – are recognized by all cultures, even the most primitive. The spiritual virtues – faith, hope, love, forgiveness, obedience, sacrifice – are recognized by all religions. Here all religions find a measure of unity.

3. Life is what you do when you have other plans.

In my 85 years I have found this both an exciting and a sobering truth. Life has largely been what I have done when I had other plans! It was my plan to marry my "first love," but I ended up marrying Ouida, which was a wow. Back when I was a high school dropout, my plans were rather drab – and I remember one teacher telling me, "You’ll never go to college!" But I at last took degrees – not only from ACU, but from both Princeton and Harvard as well. And did I ever plan to be a college professor, and an editor and a kind of reformer among Churches of Christ? It all happened while I had other plans!

Paul of Tarsus could speak to this truth. He had his plans on that Damascus road, well calculated. He was even carrying official papers to support his arrest, imprisonment, and even death of Christians. Look what happened. His life became what he did while he had other plans!

You could tell similar stories. This does not mean we are not to make plans, but it does mean that we are to keep our hearts and minds open to God’s call – a call that may well move us in an entirely different direction. And it means we are never to lose heart amidst adverse reverses in life. God will always be there for us – and he may surprise us! Life may well come to be what we do while we had other plans.

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