WHO
OWNS HEAVEN?
- Recently
I was visiting a longtime reader of this journal who runs a funeral
home in Missouri, started by his grandfather in 1917. The home is
something of a tradition in this small town. As we discussed changes
that funerals have taken over the past two generations I told my
friend of a lady I once met in a back room of a funeral home in
California. I came upon her quite by accident since I was casually
walking about the place while my host, the funeral director, was
busy on the phone.
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A
lovely lady she was, only 62, and character graced her face even in
death. In fact she didn’t appear to be dead, maybe not even
asleep, but only lying there with her eyes closed. A dim light shone
near her head. The room was still and quiet. I found myself visiting
with her as I lingered beside her coffin. It was not an unpleasant
experience. I sensed that she must have been a fine person in her
sojourn in this world. The body even in death can speak of the
character of the one who once lived there.
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When
I asked my friend about her I learned that I was her only visitor
and that there would be no others. She had no relatives who were
close enough or cared enough to attend her funeral. She had died in
a nursing home, unknown and unloved. An attorney who cared for her
small estate arranged for her burial, all by phone. In fact the
mortician and an assistant would alone bury her, a “Christian
burial” he assured me.
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That
experience so impressed me that it would have inspired a poem had I
been a poet. Instead I wrote an essay on “The Woman I Cannot
Forget” which appeared in this journal in 1974, which was in
part an appeal to the churches to be more sensitive to those in
nursing homes who have to die alone.
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When
I told that story to my Missouri mortician friend, he said to my
surprise, “Then you might like to meet Vivian.” He took
me to the visitation room where this 70-year old woman was laid out
with all the loving care of a conscientious funeral home. As we
stood beside her casket he introduced me to her, quite seriously and
almost formally. We talked almost as if it were a three-way
conversation, though Vivian did not say all that much. The
mortician, a devout Christian, wondered if Vivian might know what
was going on. I ventured that it was more than possible, and that
she was likely pleased that we would visit with her like this.
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Unlike
the California woman Vivian was active to the end and she by no
means died alone, even if her life was a troubled one. She was
raised in the Church of Christ but had not been an active member.
She had gone through four marriages, and she fell dead on a dance
floor. Before I learned all this I thought I detected what Thoreau
called “quiet desperation” etched in her face. She died
having never been able to get life together, I figured, and I felt
compassion for her. I could hear her telling me, “Nothing ever
went right for me. Marriage after marriage. Job after job. Nothing.
And I tried everything, including religion.”
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While
we lingered at her side I told my friend that there is no way for us
to judge in such matters. Only God knows the heart, and only he
knows the reasons why we are the way we are. It might well be that
if we had been in Vivian’s shoes we would not have done as
well as she did. Some people seem to get the short end of the stick
all through life. God knows and he will judge accordingly, and we
can all pray as did the lowly publican in Jesus’ story, “God,
be merciful to me a sinner.”
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My
friend seemed impressed with the way I related to Vivian, so he
wanted to tell me a story.
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There
was this black preacher who conducted a funeral in his chapel for a
man, also black, who was shot to death in a saloon brawl. The man
had lived on the dark side of life and died that way. The preacher
told the mourners, “We all know how he lived and we know how
he died, but I’m not here to pass judgment on him. I don’t
own heaven and I don’t own hell. I’m not in charge of
heaven, so I can’t say who goes there and who don’t. God
owns heaven and he says who goes there and who don’t, and at
this funeral we’re going to leave it right there.”
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The
black brother said it well. White folks and black folks alike
sometime forget that it is the God of heaven and him alone who is
sovereign over people’s souls. And if we turn up surprised
over the weird people who come from the east and the west and sit
down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the eternal kingdom, folk
that are not supposed to be there as we see it, that too will be
good for us.
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We
will at last have learned who owns heaven. Not an unimportant truth
to learn either in this world or the next. —the
Editor