The Hope of the Believer . . .

Restoration Review, Vol. 31, No. 8, October 1989


READERS' EXCHANGE

Thank you for your excellent article about Carl Ketcherside. The personal anecdotes you included were inspiring tome, and others have told me they, too, were encouraged by what you wrote to us all.—Diane Kilmer, Integrity Magazine

(If you would like to see the piece I did on Carl Ketcherside for Integrity, write and ask for that issue, which can serve as a sample copy in case you are not acquainted with that journal, one that you should be reading.  Address: 2919 Lafayette Ave., Lansing Mi. 49696. —Ed.)

I have been reading Restoration Review since I married Virgil in 1983. He's been taking your paper since the 1950's. I love reading about your wife's help and how sweet it is for both of you to care for her mother. We devour the paper whenever it comes. — Fern Stapleton, Tucson, Az.

I have only recently been exposed to your publication. I have enjoyed it immensely. I have been so excited because after reading it, I realize there is hope for the Church of Christ. I have been disillusioned with the church, for I had to go through a horrible marriage which ended in divorce, only to believe that I was doomed with no hope. Gradually I have come to see that God loves me anyway, that I am a good person, and that I can be saved. I like the way you present the different subjects, with Scriptures combined with good, common sense. It makes it all seem so simple, which it should be.— Orange, Tx.

I have moved from Barton W. Stone's home in Jacksonville, Illinois to Walter Scott's old stomping grounds on the Western Reserve. I pray that we will see another move of God as we did in their day. Keeping Christian unity as my polar star! — Randy Massie, Louisville, Oh.

I have read your writings so much over the years. I have especially enjoyed the series on your visits to the different denominations. How enlightening they have been! — Jewel Iahn, Fenton, Mo.

I loaned some back issues of your paper to my landlord. He's never returned them, and he is hooked on your writings. He recently subscribed on his own. So there, I got you another subscriber who is an avid reader of all you write.  — Vallejo, Ca.

(Some of our most appreciate readers come to us this way. Why don't you share this paper with a friend? The results might be similar. — Ed.)

I will no longer listen to a preacher who has to apologize for preaching on grace. It is pathetic how such little things divide us. In my community of 55,000 there are at least six Churches of Christ, one of which is known for not eating in the building. —Clear Creek, In.

I have long been troubled by a question that apparently no one can answer: When does God cut off a congregation from His fellowship? Your article on "What Difference Do Differences Make" raised the question again. — Lock haven, Pa.

GAY CHURCH 

(Responses to my article on the gay church in the last issue provided some insightful and helpful observations on the complex subject of homosexuality. We offer some of them here, along with a general mix of what was in the mailbag. Since this is such an emotional issue I am withholding names and addresses. — Ed.)  

Several years ago I visited a gay church and since that time the services at the straight church seem so empty. We righteous churches could learn a lot from those sinners about effective ministers and worship. Thanks for the courage. — San Diego, Ca.

Thank you for the subscription I have enjoyed until now. It would be hard for me to overstate my dismay at the position you have assumed in your treatment of sexual perversion. Please do not send Restoration Review any longer— Memphis, Tn.  

I want to present you with a holy kiss through the mail. Your article has to be the most astounding expression of open acceptance ever to come out of the Church of Christ. I am not homosexual but I understand their love. My chosen path is to be a wife, mother, school teacher, but why is it so difficult for us to understand that not all are made alike and will not choose paths similar to ours? — Auroro, Colorado  

It is distressing to see how far a person can drift from Christ when once he adopts error. To go so far as to say that Jesus accepted and associated (fellowshipped or had some common bond that tied them together spiritually with God) with homosexuals is preposterous. —a minister in Missouri

There are several good review articles in scientific literature concerning homosexuality which conclude that sexual orientation is largely influenced by prenatal brain hormonalization, but is also strongly dependent on postnatal socialization, which may become incorporated into the brain's immutable biology . In light of recently developed / new perspectives from historical, Biblical and scientific research, it seems to me that we need to expand our dialogue on such issues within the churches. Your article may hopefully stimulate such. Thanks for your courage and integrity! —a psychiatrist in Texas

I cannot believe that God made most of us heterosexual and a minority homosexual. In one sense man is animal. Yet there is no evidence of homosexuality among the lower animals. Is homosexuality in part a learned behavior? Does a narrow social environment enter the picture? May an older person subvert a child into homosexuality? — a professor in Tennessee

As a recovering homosexual (in orientation, not in practice) I have done considerable research in the area of re-orientation. The best material I have seen on re-orientations the August (1989) issue of Christianity Today. From my earliest recollection I thought of myself as female. I took the female parts in our play as children. I was Mommy, super-girl, or wife. I dressed as a female. When I reached puberty I was rejected by my peers for being effeminate. I considered suicide all through my teen years. I was sexually attracted to males, both children and adults. Sometimes I admitted this, sometimes I denied it. I married at age 22. When my first child was born I abused him, and through this I came to realize how I had been abused as a child, even sexually abused by my father. My mother wanted a girl and I realized I had been used as a substitute. At age 27 I began therapy. I am now 3l. I see myself as now recovering from homosexuality. I am now not as depressed and am more confident in my heterosexuality. It could not have happened without the help of God. My current theory is that male homosexuality is a subset of narcissism with origins at age 17-18 months and before. One does not completely recover, but is always working on it. I have helped one man to overcome his homosexual behavior and am currently counselling with another. It is essential that we not require recovery, but rather to require effort. This is one of the principles of God's grace. I enjoy your paper and send it to a few people in the congregation where I preach. —from a minister

While I appreciate your attitude of love toward gays and lesbians, I am not sure I agree with you that they are born that way. Why would the Bible speak so strongly against homosexuality if one cannot help being gay? — a minister in Texas

John Boswell's book, Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, is the most scholarly work of which I am aware on the subject, particularly in reference to arsenokoitai in 1 Cor. 6:9 and 1 Tim. 1:10. As a professor at Yale, Boswell has good credentials. He does not believe that either of the two passages refers to homosexuality. Another fine book that you would find informative is The Vatican and Homosexuality, which consists of articles about the recent Vatican letter on homosexuality which created so much controversy. In this book one writer stated well the frustration and pain of the lesbian and gay community: "We have been deprived of jobs and places to live, refused health care, abused in public, beaten in the streets, killed by drunks — and you want to deny us the protection of the law? The sins of society and the Church against gay people are far greater than any sin that can be committed by two people trying to express their love for one another." We continue to appreciate your writings. You have been a blessing to thousands of people and we certainly hope you will keep up this work for many years to come.— a reader in California

(This informative material is enough to show that homosexuality is a far more complex matter than most of us realize. It is not a matter that is resolved by calling names, issuing threats, or even by quoting Scripture. It rather begs for understanding. Notice that the reformed homosexual minister, after struggling with the problem through a suicidal childhood, does not consider himself fully recovered even yet. With God's help he continues the effort, and he urges the church to use that approach by calling not for recovery but effort. Is the church to say to such ones that we will accept you only when you quit being gay, like right now? Does not such insensitivity run the risk of being far more sinful than what we are condemning? Several of the responses raised the puzzling question of how God could make some people gay, if indeed he does, and then condemn them for being that way. If they are "born gay" how can they beheld responsible? One might be born with a particular predisposition without God having ordained it. Jesus referred to some who were "born eunuchs," but this does not mean that God made them that way. It was rather a birth defect. As our brother psychiatrist noted above, "prenatal brain hormonalization," along with certain postnatal influences, may cause some to be born gay or to become so early in life. But that doesn't mean God ordained it. It is an aberration that cannot be helped and therefore not sinful in itself. And yet any of us may sin against God by the choices we make in expressing our sexuality, gay or non-gay. By the power of the Holy Spirit sexual reorientation may be possible for some, perhaps for many, as in the case of the minister above. In any event we are to face the problem by loving and accepting each other, even as Christ has loved and accepted us. That is what the grace of God is all about. And it is only through such forebearing love that we will be able to help each other through these seemingly insurmountable problems. — the Editor)