THE ISSUE IS NOT THE ISSUE
One
of our women here in Denton who recently attended one of these
marriage encounter weekends revealed to me how much it meant to her
and her husband. While those who attend such sessions are reluctant
to reveal very much about the technique used, and with good reason,
this sister told me one thing that lingers with me. One of their
working principles is that the issue is not the issue. The
issue may be the children, or money, or sex, but the marriage
encounter folk say that these things are not really the issue. It is
something else, such as whether the couple is committed to the
marriage.
The
issue is not the issue. I see liberating wisdom in that, and it
applies to so many things in life. There are the good reasons
we give for things we do, and we even convince ourselves, but they
are not the real reasons. We’ve all read in the press
those tragic stories of someone being murdered in a dispute over a
few dollars or maybe a dog, but the real reason is hardly ever that
superficial. The issue is something like deep-seated resentment and
hate that goes back many years, not merely the loss of a pet dog. The
presumed issue is not really the issue.
So,
the issue with the distraught housewife is not really that she wants
to take a job or that her husband does not help her with the children
as he ought, but whether she feels loved, needed, and appreciated.
Insecurity can manifest itself in all sorts of false issues. Lack of
help may be an issue, but not the issue.
I’ve
known college professors along the way who are negative and
disgruntled about everything on campus, even taking it out on their
students. Various “issues” were manufactured as to what
ailed them, but the real reason was that they did not get the
promotions and the attending salary that they thought they deserved.
In east Texas some years ago two elders got into a fist fight right
in the church building. I do not recall the alleged issue between
them, and they might not now be able to recall it themselves, but the
real issue was their fear and insecurity and their
unwillingness to face up to their creatureliness before the Creator.
The real issue oftentimes is that people want to play God—and
too bad for anyone who gets in their way!
It is
amazing how that paradigm from the marriage seminar applies to the
story of our divisions among Churches of Christ-Christian Churches.
Almost never in the sad story of our factions has the issue really
been the issue. At my side is a bulletin from a Church of Christ in
Texas with an article on “The Cause of Division.” The
author explains why we have divided time and again through the years:
“The thing that caused the division among God’s people is
a change of attitude toward the word of God.” This is why we
divided over instrumental music and missionary societies, he assures
us. Our folk came to view the authority of the Scriptures
differently. Those who opposed the instrument and the societies
respected the authority of the Scriptures and the others did not!
Our
brother might have difficulty explaining why J. W. McGarvey, the
trusted scholar of yesteryear who stood firm against instrumental
music, favored missionary societies. I would say that McGarvey
respected the Scriptures both in opposing the instrument and
favoring the society, and that the real issue must be something
else—such as whether some things are matters of opinion and
whether there is to be freedom to differ in such areas.
Our
brother goes on to layout the same old bromide that we’ve heard
all these years: “The only way our differences will ever be
resolved will be for all to go to the Scriptures and give scriptural
authority for the things we do in religion.” This means, of
course, that he has Scripture for all he does while those who
differ with him (on such things as the instrument and societies) do
not. Even the esteemed McGarvey could not come within the pale of
this brother’s fellowship. Our brother is unable to see that
the issue is not that some respect the Scriptures and others do not,
but that sincere people can and do differ on methods. The issue is
whether we are going to love and accept each other anyway, and not
for the purpose of disputing over such questions, as Rom. 14:1
instructs us in just those words.
The
issue is not the issue! I see that in reference to our recent
division in Churches of Christ over Herald of Truth and orphan homes,
giving us “liberal” churches and “conservative”
churches, as some would classify us. But the issue was not really
Herald of Truth, just as it was not earlier societies, instruments,
Sunday Schools, and all the rest.
The issue
is really whether we will be a carnal people and divide or a
spiritual people and be united. No party sees everything alike,
including “conservative” churches, who continue to have
such differences that they even debate each other and “write
up” each other in their journals. Divisive issues are
manufactured by people who walk after the flesh and thus choose to
separate from their brothers.
Our
pioneers insisted that “We are free to differ but not to
divide.” So long as they believed that they remained a united
Movement. When they reversed its meaning they began to divide.
The
real issue is whether we will be a loving, uniting people or a
hating, dividing people. The real issue is Jesus’ prayer for
the oneness of his people. The real issue is that division is a
sin—let’s hear it, a sin—and whether or not
we will commit that sin.
The
issue is not differences. We’ll always have differences, even
when we start another party (alias faithful church). If not
instruments, agencies, or millennial notions, then something else.
Such as a “bus ministry,” which is a big deal these days.
One journal listed this as a mark of a “liberal” church,
and of course such churches are to be marked. So to bus or not to bus
becomes the issue.
But we have seen that the issue is not
really the issue.
The issue
is whether we are resolved to love one another even as Christ loves
us.
And,
oh yes, when you come in from work tired and the wife is late with
dinner and the exchange is on the grumpy side, that is not the
issue. The issue is whether you are going to do yourself a favor and
love your wife!—the Editor