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With
income tax time upon us, every faithful church member should be
activated by examples already set to claim at once his royal
heritage and make it pay. It can put thousands of dollars—real
cash—into his pocket, or at least leave it there, come April
15!
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How
is this done? Simply by putting into practical operation the
theological principle embraced by the Church of Christ that every
member belongs to the royal priesthood. Harding College faculty
members are already setting the pace by getting as much as $8,000 a
year each in housing allowances alone, and saving the college big
chunks of Social Security taxes to boot.
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But
if you say that the IRS intends these special tax benefits only for
the clergy, the answer is that all of us are clergymen. This truth
ranks right along with baptism in importance in our theology.
Indeed, our baptismal certificate is also our certificate as a
minister. One does not have to be paid to be a minister. Just who
paid the tentmaker during his years at Ephesus?
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Even
more important, if you are paid, you don’t have to be paid by
a church or paid for preaching. Just any old income will do so long
as you are a member of the royal priesthood, which you are. You can
teach math or chemistry or clerk or farm and still be eligible for
luscious tax deductions. Harding has shown us how by its “new
method of calculation.”
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Here
it is straight from Harding’s vice-president: By adopting a
“new method of calculation” he has enabled “male
faculty members of Harding College, Inc.” to receive “housing
allowances for 1976 for as much as $8,000,” and “in view
of the beautiful way in which this program worked for 1976, we are
following the same plan for 1977.” Now one might take a crack
at his obvious anti-feminism by denying the female faculty his tax
plums, but that might divert us from contemplating the beautiful
landscape of tax benefits to which we are entitled by our theology.
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Now
with your 1977 IRS worksheets spread before you, start drooling as
we list a few of these deduction plums which are yours as members of
the royal priesthood. (1) You can deduct “anything spent to
provide a home” (the good vice-president’s words),
including legal fees, deeds, and monthly mortgage payments. (2) As a
special sweetener, you can deduct taxes and interest in your housing
allowance, above, and then list them again as itemized deductions—in
short, you can deduct them twice! Now isn’t that a beaut for
all of us priests!
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But
we are just getting started. You can also deduct (3) all insurance
on house and contents, (4) all house repairs and upkeep, including
painting, storm windows, re-roofing, plumbing bills, electric and
gas bills, firewood, and, of course, depreciation, (5) all
appliances—deep freeze, stove, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner,
washer and dryer, TV, and garbage compacter, (6) bedding, furniture,
drapes, rugs, pictures on the wall, and (7) maidservice and baby
sitter service and “whatever it takes to make a home complete”
(get that quote).
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If
you keep proper records, you can deduct (9) cleaning
supplies-brooms, Drano, Ajax, and perfumed soaps, (10) light bulbs
and flashlight and smoke alarm batteries, and (11) outside your
tax-free home such things as a new sidewalk, a new landscaping job,
lawn fertilizer, and even the lawnmower.
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Is
it not wonderful that we are members of a church that does not have
a special clergy, one in which all of us belong to the royal
priesthood? We are the called-out, the separated, and the IRS makes
a clear-cut distinction between us ministers and the Common Joes and
Janes who have to put and put. Since we are different, we don’t
have to render unto Caesar all that is Caesar’s. Let’s
grab our special tax deduction goodies now—lest it be
demonstrated that our theological principles are a pious fraud! —404
Minerva, Murfreesboro, TN 37130