An
Open Letter . . .
WHY
I’M LEAVING THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH
It
is hard after 23 years to say goodbye to one whose friendship I have
valued so highly, but I have no other choice. Our situation is
similar to a married couple that has separated for sometime and,
after looking for chances to reconcile, decides that a divorce is the
only realistic answer.
We
first met when I was only 9, at which time your claims to be the true
church made a profound impression on me. It would be an exaggeration
to say that I felt like a commoner who has been favored by a visit
from the queen. I dutifully obeyed your requirements for membership.
My black baptismal robe represented the old life before we met. After
becoming a member of your family, the old was put aside and I entered
into a new relationship as I came forth from the baptistry.
The
years that followed brought us even closer together. I attended more
and more of your services. I believed your claim of dating from
Pentecost and accepted as fact that you were the true strain in our
time of all the billions of Christians who have lived. I recall
attending a youth camp that you sponsored, where about 100 high
school students worked and played together, exultant in the knowledge
that we were a part of the only survivors of God’s people upon
the earth. The teachers at this camp put to rout all the straw men of
other denominations with such ease that we marveled that others could
reject what was so clear to us. The doctrines of other churches were
false unless they were identical to our own.
It
was the influence of this camp that caused me to enter your ministry,
for upon returning home I took a part-time job with a view of
entering seminary in the fall. I found seminary enjoyable, despite
the pressures of work. While many of the professors were of high
calibre, they still parroted the party line with few deviations.
Sometimes it was a matter of copying the teacher’s notes
precisely as he gave them, and any question that challenged the
official party line was often ignored. As I look back I can see that
you must be proud of these men who had become proficient in
brainwashing without even realizing it. Bur now I can see that true
education teaches one to think.
After
seminary I went on to further study and degrees, and I served
pastorates in Georgia, Florida, and Illinois, as well as Ohio, where
I now reside. I labored strenuously with each church, seeking to
“convert” (or proselytize) those of other churches
who were groping their way through denominational vagaries. Many with
whom I worked predicted a rosy pathway for my future years, enjoying
as I did a measure of success.
God
in his wisdom touches our lives in strange ways, moving us from the
ruts of complacency and drawing us unto himself. In our case it was
the birth of our baby son. For the first time I could see God in an
altogether different light, for now I too was a father. I had been
preaching a concept of God something like the stern and unyielding
Jehovah of the Old Testament. For the first time in my life I really
understood the story of the prodigal son. God was no longer a judge
on a bench, meticulously listing my every fault, but a father who was
teaching me through love rather than through law.
After
six years in seminary and three degrees in theology, I was
understanding for the first time what Jesus meant in speaking of God
as father, as well as what he said about grace and forgiveness. Now I
could no longer believe that the church is superior to God and
Christ. I had believed that you, the church, were the means of
salvation; but now I could see that it is rather the grace of God. O
you vain and conceited creature! Now I could see why you would not
recognize others as fellow Christians. You have the idea that the
church saves, and that if one is in the wrong church he will be
lost. But now I see that it is Christ who saves and that the labels
men wear have as much to do with their salvation as their telephone
numbers.
These
new insights led me into forbidden behavior, forbidden by the
insecurity of your outlook, O Independent Church, and for this you
cannot forgive me. I visited different churches and carried on
dialogue with ministers of other denominations. This was a new world
to me. I found warmth and love not often found within your fold.
These excursions into forbidden areas caused me to grow bolder, so I
was soon dining at a Catholic seminary, exchanging books with
priests, and attending Christmas mass. Moreover I visited Jewish
synagogues and chatted with rabbis. I invited ministers of other
churches to my home for dinner and arranged for them to speak at our
services, and I accepted invitations to speak for them. It was all so
thrilling I could hardly believe it was true.
But
you were jealous of my flirtations. Your possessiveness was extreme
and your wrath was intense. Even though the church I served was
prospering in both attendance and finances, as well as enjoying an
influx of new members, the elders, who in the Independent churches
think themselves a combination of Paul and the district attorney,
were positive that such a liberal theology of mine could never
succeed for long, and that the church would soon become a modern
Sodom if my insidious concepts were allowed to go unchecked. So check
them they did. There were secret meetings to which I was not invited.
Every word I wrote in the bulletin and every word I uttered from the
pulpit were carefully examined. It reminded me of the way the
Pharisees treated Jesus.
This
caused me to resolve to go on and say exactly what I believed,
evading no issues and bypassing no touchy subjects. I urged those who
opposed me to use both the bulletin and the pulpit to give their
side, bur this they refused to do, choosing to work in secret rather
than in an open confrontation.
During
this time I began to reexamine the scriptures in order to discover my
exact place in the church as the minister. As I studied the New
Testament for the answer I was astounded that I could find no
clear-cut parallel to the modern ministry, The picture presented to
me from scripture was that of a man working at a secular job and
preaching to those who had never heard about Jesus Christ. I
did not find one instance of a man being paid by a congregation to
tell them the same story week after week for years. I began to wonder
if the offering and the ministry did not go hand in
hand in keeping an anachronistic institution from passing into
well-deserved oblivion.
Finally
your elders called a meeting to inform me that I was to be replaced,
which of course did not surprise me. It was the slander, innuendo,
and pressure that were used to achieve this end that surprised me. My
crimes, it seems, were that I preached too much on Christian unity
and used translations of the Bible other than the King James.
So
I was voted out at a congregational meeting, which was by a narrow
margin. This is to be regretted, for we could have done much
together.
I
was often saddened by your frequent failure to show any concern for
the pressing problems of our world. Riots, alcoholism, poverty,
racial strife, unemployment and immorality are of no real concern to
you. Some of your people left the church where I was preaching when
Negroes joined. On another occasion in a business meeting I pled for
$20.00 a month for a poor family, only to be told that it was the
family’s own fault that they were in need. One church I served
had an annual budget of $30,000.00, of which $100.00 went to the
poor!
And
so we have parted. I have since joined the human race, and it seems
that I have been accepted. Your faithful ones made no efforts to
reclaim me. Not a single word has come from the hundreds that I
worked with, not even from the many preachers I knew. The world has
been kinder. Catholics and Protestants alike have offered to help me,
some offering me pulpits in their denomination. A Catholic university
offered me a job until I could find a regular position. A rural
Disciples of Christ congregation invited me to preach for them on
weekends, which I accepted, and where I stilI remain.
I
plan to give my life to teaching and counselling. Last year I worked
with a Catholic elementary school, and this year it is with a
Catholic high school for girls. I have found more real Christianity
with these people than in the entire eight years that I served as
minister for you. I have felt the warmth of God’s love and
grace, and I have come to accept all Christians as my brothers. Never
could I go back to your distorted world. It would be like going back
to the first grade and starting all over again. Never again could I
stand in your pulpit and parrot the party line.
But you taught me an
important lesson, and that is what can happen to an institution when
its energies are turned inward to the neglect of the world around.
My
desire is to take the love of Christ to the classroom and counseling
office. And I hope God may speed the day when your people will
discover what I have discovered.
The
question is whether you can really change so as to make the “of
Christ” or “Christian” in your official title of
“Church of Christ-Christian Church” true? I pray that God
will guide you to that end, and soon.
Your “liberal” ex-minister,
Gene A. Grant(6139 Fairway Dr., Cincinnati 45212)
“Every
man is, in some respects,
like
every other man;
like
some other men;
like
no other man.”—Clyde Kluckhohn